


When The Lights All Went Out

by WintersCurse



Category: The Aurora Cycle - Amie Kaufman & Jay Kristoff
Genre: Angst, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Fluff, Group Therapy, I Swear it's Not as Dark as it Sounds, Past Child Abuse, Past Suicide Attempt, Schizophrenia, Self Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, psych ward au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:26:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24470539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WintersCurse/pseuds/WintersCurse
Summary: Everyone needs to get a little better at asking for help, and Tyler needs to get a little better at taking a step backAKA the psych ward au that literally no one asked for, but all the fics for this fandom are fluffy so I am here to provide the angst
Comments: 8
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Psychotic episode in this chapter
> 
> Bonus points if you can guess what song the title is from, and thank you to PocketEpiphany for beta reading

To celebrate the end of the second week at the Legion, Zila got a new roommate. 

The first two days after she’d been admitted to the Legion, Zila had a roommate called Katie. She’d been fine, if a bit too interested in conversations for Zila’s liking and cried more often than smiled, but nothing particularly bad to complain about. 

Except Katie had left after only four days and Zila was still at the Legion after two weeks. 

And she was bored. 

There was nothing stimulating at the Legion. Her books had been confiscated for a reason Zila could not fathom. She had been told she was allowed no practical experiments to accompany her theories. There was definitely no chance of being given paper and pencils for the nights. 

Zila was supposed to sleep at night. 

It didn’t matter that Zila couldn’t sleep, or that the sleep meds wore off too quickly so she was still plagued by nightmares and staring at the blank ceiling for hours as she counted and multiplied, or that with the windows boarded it was impossible for Zila to count the stars and so she couldn’t sleep even if she wanted to. Or that Zila couldn’t sleep in the dark. 

Zila was supposed to sleep and the Legion wouldn’t provide anything that might disrupt that. 

They would, however, provide a new roommate. That seemed very counterproductive if you asked Zila. 

No one ever asked Zila. 

And the new roommate- Auri O’Malley- was sitting up in bed with the standard issue purple blanket around her waist and a pyjama top that Zila assumed must be yellow falling off her shoulders. In the dramatic darkness Zila could barely make out her figure, but she’d seen Auri earlier that evening. 

She was adequately attractive. Onyx black hair curled around her jaw and fell across her eyes, with a white streak down one side. Her eyes were dark like the night sky at 2am, and the freckles across her cheeks were like the constellations that were scattered across it. 

Zila was here to heal. Not to create intimate relationships based off attraction. 

She had been admitted to the Legion to heal, at least. She didn’t feel like she was doing a lot of healing, and neither did any of the staff apparently. 

After 3548 seconds of silence, Auri spoke. 

It was whispered, and rough, and almost too quiet for Zila to hear.

“They’re coming for me.”

Zila knew nothing about Auri. Nothing other than she was an eighteen year old girl who had just been admitted to a psych ward, and therefore probably had no one coming for her. 

“Who’s coming for you?” Zila whispered back. 

“They’re on the floor. Waiting for me.” 

Zila wasn’t very good with people, or feelings. But she’d had enough psychotic episodes of her own to know- maybe- how to help. 

Big maybe. 

“That sounds scary,” Zila said. 

Auri curled up tighter on herself. “They’ll take me. They’re finally here. They’ll take me away with their big claws and teeth and I’ll never be heard from again.” 

“How long have they been looking for you?” 

Auri blinked. “16. Since I was 16.” 

“How old are you now?” 

“18.”

Zila tilted her head. “I’m 18, too. My name is Zila.” 

“Are you one of them?” 

Auri’s voice had turned guarded and harsher, so Zila softened hers. She was pretty sure she softened it. 

Emotions and feelings and social interactions were hard. 

“Why would I be one of them?” She asked. 

“I don’t know,” Auri said. “They’re everywhere.” 

“That sounds terrifying. And very upsetting.” 

Auri nodded sincerely. “It is. They hide behind my trophies and my door.” 

“What are your trophies for?” 

Zila made an effort to keep her voice as quiet as possible. The staff would’ve stopped making their rounds by now, but they were never too far away. 

And Zila was supposed to be asleep. 

Bad things happened when Zila wasn’t asleep. 

She dug her fingernails into her knee- quickly pushing aside the nausea and the question of whether or not to bring that particular thought up with the doctor tomorrow- and focused on Auri’s words. This was about Auri. She was supposed to be helping Auri. 

“Track running,” Auri said. “I’ve got a couple of certificates from geography competitions, but all of the trophies are from track.” 

“Do you enjoy track?” 

“Yeah. My dad says he doesn’t know where I get it from, because he used to go out of his way to skip gym in high school.” 

“Your father seems nice.” 

Auri nodded. “He is. I hate him sometimes and he’s infuriating, but I do love him a lot. I like my mum better, though.” 

Now Zila was out of her depth. Speaking technically, conversations were a matter of interpersonal relations and relaying information. And Zila had no relations or information to share on this topic. 

But Auri was almost calm so Zila couldn’t stop now. 

“What is your mother like?” 

“She’s really nice,” Auri smiled. “She attends all of my races. She used to sing lullabies to me every night up until I was ten, which is kinda lame I know.”

“It’s not.” 

The silence that settled was more comfortable than it had been in the two weeks Zila had been at the Legion. Less harsh and unforgiving and full of memories that Zila didn’t want. More soft and hopeful. 

“Zila?” Auri asked after 83 seconds. 

“Yes?”

“Thank you.” 

As Auri’s breaths turned soft, Zila stared up at the ceiling, running through times tables in her head.

Maybe this new roommate would be a tolerable companion.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw for anorexia/general ed thoughts

Breakfast was the worst part of the day. 

Not just because Fin was still groggy, and his back and chest were always in burning pain. Not even because he barely had enough time between wakeup and breakfast to fit his exosuit on properly and sometimes he just wouldn’t be able to move a finger.

Or a leg. 

And then he’d trip up and people would laugh. 

Or if the universe particularly hated him, they’d offer help and pity. Staring down at him with those big sympathy filled eyes. Eyes that said _oh you poor baby let me help you._

No. The worst torture inflicted was that people watched him eat. He knew they noticed that he only had an apple- albeit an apple that he’d cut into so many tiny chunks that it filled the entire plate. 

And it wasn’t like he hadn’t known what he was signing up for. 

Though, really, he hadn’t signed up for anything. All it had taken was a few too many hospital trips and people stopped trusting him. 

A few too many hospital trips and he’d wound up at the Legion. 

And it wasn’t _fair_. People starved themselves more than he did all the time and _they_ weren’t monitored because _they_ had otherwise healthy bodies. And Fin just had to put on a grin and act like it was all fine. 

He took a deep breath and cut the apple into smaller pieces. He was supposed to look like he wanted to heal, at least. 

Nevermind that he was well past giving a fuck. 

A piece of toast fell onto Fin’s plate, accompanied by a tanned hand and a very Tyler-like whistle. 

If Fin had to deal with Tyler’s pretentious bullshit this morning, he was going to lose it. 

“The fuck man?” Fin laughed. “If you needed a second plate all you had to do was ask.” 

Tyler didn’t laugh along, which meant Fin didn’t get to see his ridiculously cute dimples, or the soft way his eyes lit up. 

He _did_ get to see, however, the drawn line of Tyler’s mouth that reminded Fin far too much of hospital nurses. 

“You need to eat,” Tyler said stiffly. 

_Not happening._

Fin could barely even look at the food on his plate without feeling sick. Without having a wash of nausea tumble through his head and claws scratching at his stomach. 

And the thought of eating it had his hands shaking and his knee bobbing up and down. All his hard work for nothing. He couldn’t eat. He _couldn’t._

Digging his fingernails into his thigh, maybe just hard enough to feel for bones, he forced an easy smile. 

“The only thing I need to eat,” Fin raised his eyebrows at the others. “Is ass.” 

Scarlett’s little choked out giggle made it worth it. 

Her plate had four pieces of toast and several strawberries on it. But she was still so skinny. 

Fin wasn’t sure how he felt about that. 

“That’s not true,” Tyler glared through a mouthful of mushrooms. “If you don’t eat, I’ll have no choice but to go tell someone.” 

The new chick, Auri, was staring at her own plate awkwardly. She had sufficiently more food than Fin, but she hadn’t touched any of it yet. And Fin was certain the strawberries on Zila’s plate had once been on Auri’s. 

But maybe Auri had just felt bad. Maybe she hadn’t known that Zila couldn’t eat unless the food could be split into seven equal portions. Maybe she hadn’t realised Zila couldn’t look at her food unless she’d circled her fork around 5 times clockwise and three times anticlockwise. 

Tyler. Fin was supposed to be replying to Tyler. 

“You wouldn’t,” Fin said quietly, letting all humour drop. 

“Try me.”

The only thing preventing Fin from entering a glaring match with Tyler was the loud scrape of Kal pushing his plate away. He was leaning back in his chair, arms crossed over that toned chest and perfect features tugged into a snarl. 

And honestly? Watching two hot guys glare at each other sort of made up for the whole ordeal. 

Sort of. 

Fin painted the best smile he could. “I’ll let you two get a room.” 

With another smile at Scarlett, and an almost-glare from Cat, Fin pushed himself up from the table. 

His tray weighed heavy in his hands and he could feel eyes on him. Eyes on the food he was carrying. 

It was too much to even be seen with, let alone be seen eating. 

He pulled up a seat at the most hidden, empty table he could find. The eyes were still on his back and where the food brushed against his hands. But he had a much better chance of hiding what he wasn’t eating. 

Finally he was alone again. And he wasn’t sure if the relief of not having to eat quite outweighed the clawing numbness in his chest.


End file.
